At my church we’ve been going through the book of Mark, and in the past few weeks we’ve been coming closer and closer to the cross. Jesus has just had His last meal with His disciples (which was something very important to both them and Jesus, even though the disciples didn’t fully realize just how important), and is again preparing them for the fear and anguish they are about to feel when He is taken to die. They aren’t really understanding what He’s trying to do, and even disagree with Him about what He knows for sure is going to happen (Mark 14:26-31). But you and I do that, too. We’re so sure our faith has us ready, or we’re so sure God will work something out the way we think, but then reality hits us and we are faced with a choice about how to respond.
As Jesus dreads His upcoming punishment on the behalf of all humanity, He takes His friends/disciples out to a garden where they often met, tells them that His soul is so distressed He feels like the stress might kill Him, and asks them to watch pray with Him. It’s late and they’ve all just eaten, so Jesus’ friends fall asleep while He goes off a little further away to pray (Mark 14:32-42). As Jesus prays, we get to see just how much He dreads what is about to happen. He knows it’s the only way to save us, but He also has the healthy dose of self-preservation that all humans have. In great distress Jesus pleads with God the Father that if there’s another way, then please let Him take that one. But Jesus also tells the Father that He won’t do His own will, but the Father’s will. Jesus comes back to His friends more than once for emotional support, only to find His friends sleeping when He needs them most. He’s so distressed that He’s begun sweating, even though the night was likely cool, and some of that sweat was blood. Jesus expresses His disappointment in His friends, but doesn’t seem to get harsh. When He returns the third time, Judas comes with a band of men to arrest Jesus.
Since it was dark and would probably be difficult to figure out which man was Jesus in the midst of Him and His friends, Judas had a signal so the band of men would know which man to arrest: a friendly kiss of greeting. (Mark 14:43-47). This kind of kiss would have been the kind of greeting that close friends would exchange, kissing each other on the cheek. Judas even excitedly called out the title “Master” twice beforehand, pretending he was sincerely happy to see Jesus. Now comes a heartbreaking detail. There are two different words here translated as kiss. The first is the friendly kiss Judas arranged to give, and the second is the delivery of that kiss. That second word implies an earnestness, wherein Judas further feigned loyalty and affection to Jesus. In the Luke 22 account of this event (verses 47 and 48), Jesus has a devastating and heartbreaking response to Judas: “Judas… Are you betraying me with a kiss?” I can only imagine the deeply furrowed brow and maybe even a cracking voice. Jesus knew, of course, that this was coming, but Judas really twisted the knife in this backstab.
In the next few verses (Mark 14:47-50), we see one of the disciples fighting back. He likely wasn’t aiming for an ear with his sword, but that’s all he got. In Matthew and Luke Jesus commands that there be no fighting back (in Luke we see that Jesus healed the ear). In Mark Jesus points out to the gathered band that they don’t have to come out here with all this force to arrest Him, especially since He hasn’t even been doing anything violent or wrong. At this point, the disciples are overwhelmed with fear and they all cut and run.
I wonder what Jesus’ face looked like at this point. I wonder if with streaks of bloody sweat He simply watched with disappointment and sympathy as they scattered. The last thing they did was fall asleep when He needed them most, then they all ran away when things got too heated. And last thing Judas did was pretend to be excited to see Him, betraying Him with a sign of deep, affectionate friendship. I wonder if Jesus looked at Judas the same way He’d looked at the other disciples. I wonder how He looked at the men seizing Him.
While it does make me feel better that the disciples were eventually reconciled, I can’t just gloss over the pain their failure caused Jesus. And while I’m sure Jesus would have forgiven Judas had he asked, I can’t gloss over the pain that the betrayal caused either. This is an important part of what Jesus went through for me, for you, for all humanity. And He hadn’t even gotten to the worst part yet. That’s going to be sinking in for me for a little while longer. I hope it sinks in as deeply as it needs to for you and for me.
Related:
Becoming a Human
Deity Becoming Humanity
Necessary Humanity