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When you recount a problem you’ve had with someone else, you’re often telling it as the one who didn’t do anything wrong, or at least the one who wasn’t as wrong at the other person. Even when you were in the wrong and even if you admit it, you tend to downplay that part. It’s automatic not to want to be the villain in our own story.

But sometimes you are the villain in your own story. Sometimes you’re the one who started an argument. Sometimes you’re the one at fault for a falling out. Sometimes you’re the one who acted coldly and harshly.

Each time you’re the bad guy, you need to own up to it. You need to admit your guilt and work to reconcile. This isn’t fun, but it is worthwhile. Just because you’ve been the villain doesn’t mean you can’t ask for forgiveness. You can restore a relationship. You don’t have to stay the bad guy.

Admit when you are wrong. Let go of your hubris and reconcile.