Once not long ago I was questioning what I should do, or rather what God said I should do. I had a tough decision. I thought I wanted to go in a specific direction, and I was thinking very hard about it because it didn’t seem right. There were people telling me to go for it, but I also felt something pulling me away from it. The pull away got stronger the closer I tried to inch towards the direction I was considering. Over time I began to realize that God was telling me not to go that way.
But I resisted. I wanted to go that way. So God let me know one more time, and it felt like He had raised His voice at me. He didn’t yell, but it was like a parent telling their child one more time before punishment or consequences. So I realized I’d better stand up and listen, and I made the decision not to go that way.
The people telling me to go that way were concerned and even upset. Surely God wasn’t telling me no. It must just be me looking for a way out of the decision. Maybe I heard myself and not God.
I began to doubt. Yet in my heart I knew I had indeed heard God. But the doubt still pulled at me. So I asked God to say it again.
He did not. He simply sat quietly and waited for me to come closer.
So I did, and I have enjoyed it. I also learned and realized that the only reason I had asked Him to speak again was to prove to others that I had heard Him. I already knew, and God knew it wouldn’t do any good to tell me again. Not that we don’t talk at all now, I’m just learning that much like I sometimes like to sit with my family and just spend time together, God sometimes likes to sit with His children and just spend time together.